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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Q: Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
A: Because he was outstanding in his field.

ANGEL EYES

Q: How do fish get high?
A: Seaweed.

claudette

Little Johnny came home from school and heard the word "b*tch." He asks his mom what the word meant and she responds, "It means priest." The next day little Johnny comes home and hears the word "sh*t" and asks his dad what it means. His dad answers, "It means food on the table." At school, he hears the word "f*cking" and asks his mom what it means. She responds, "It means getting ready." The next day a priest came over for dinner and little Johnny opened the door and says, "Hey son of a b*tch. There's sh*t on the table and my parents are upstairs f*cking!"

gabbylove

Q: What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
A: Carlos.

Steven Casby

The words election and erection are spelled similarly. They both have the same meaning too: a dick rising to power.

Delilah Ro...

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"

Mark My Words

Q: What is the difference between a teacher and a train?
A: One says, "Spit out your gum," and the other says, "Choo choo choo!"

Capricorn37

Q: What did Obi-Wan say to Luke at the breakfast table?
A: "Use the fork, Luke."

The master

Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

TheLaughFa...

Innkeeper: "The room is $15 a night. It's $5 if you make your own bed."
Guest: "I'll make my own bed."
Innkeeper: "Good. I'll get you some nails and wood."

Fabio

Q: If April showers bring may flowers, what do mayflowers bring?
A: Pilgrims!

Anonymous

Q: Why is the barn so noisy?
A: Because the cows have horns.

Anonymous