MAZ JOBRANI - TROPICANA LAS VEGAS - JUNE 30-JULY 3

joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Q: What is the difference between a teacher and a train?
A: One says, "Spit out your gum," and the other says, "Choo choo choo!"

Capricorn37

On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, "What are your parents' names?" The student replied, "My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling." The teacher said, "Are you kidding?" The student said, "No, Kidding is my brother. I am Joking."

Anonymous

Three ladies were on a bus stop bench. One of the ladies looks at the other and asks her if she is Native American, She says, "Yes, I'm Arapaho." "Is that so?" says the first, "It just happens that I'm a Navajo." The third lady looks at both of them and says, "I'm a Dallas hoe."

Mark My Words

Q: What happens once in a minute and twice in a moment but never in a decade?
A: The letter "m."

Iggy

Q: What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant?
A: Swimming trunks.

Syd the Kyd

Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.

Mark My Words

A drunk walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck. The bartender says, "You can stay but don't try to start anything."

Anonymous

Helium walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here." Helium doesn't react.

Anonymous

Q: What is Mozart doing right now?
A: Decomposing.

Anonymous

Q: Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?
A: Because it’s pointless!

Anonymous

Q: Why is Peter Pan always flying?
A: Because he neverlands.

Cole Langan

A little girl and her older brother were visiting their grandfather's farm. The older brother decided to play a trick on his younger sister. He told her that he discovered a man-eating chicken. The girl was frightened, and ran inside in fear. Then the older brother heard his little sister scream. He ran inside immediately. She was screaming at their grandfather, who was chowing down on a plate of fried chicken. "What is it?" he asked. The sister turned to him in fear and said," It- it's- IT'S A MAN EATING CHICKEN!!!"

ChickenFin...