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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Q: What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
A: I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

TheLaughFa...

Q: How come oysters never donate to charity?
A: Because they are shellfish.

me

A man was driving and saw a truck stalled on the side of the highway that had ten penguins standing next to it. The man pulled over and asked the truck driver if he needed any help. The truck driver replied, "If you can take these penguins to the zoo while I wait for AAA that will be great!" The man agreed and the penguins hopped into the back of his car. Two hours later, the trucker was back on the road again and decided to check on the penguins. He showed up at the zoo and they weren't there! He headed back into his truck and started driving around the town, looking for any sign of the penguins, the man, or his car. While driving past a movie theater, the truck driver spotted the guy walking out with the ten penguins. The truck driver yelled, "What are you doing? You were supposed to take them to the zoo!" The man replied, "I did and then I had some extra money so I took them to go see a movie."

solotime

Q: Why did the school kids eat their homework?
A: Because their teacher told them it was a piece of cake.

capcon

A drunk walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck. The bartender says, "You can stay but don't try to start anything."

Anonymous

"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled, "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted to. I was keeping the umbrella.

Kaziah

Q: What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A: A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.

Anonymous

A man who is just married is flying to the Florida Keys for a business trip. His new bride is to accompany him the next day. When he gets there, he e-mails his wife to let her know he made it there safely. When he sends the e-mail, he mistypes the address. In Boston, a grieving widow, whose husband has recently passed away, receives the e-mail. She reads it, screams, and faints. Hearing her grandmother’s cry, the widow's 18 year old granddaughter runs into the living room to see the computer on, with a message that reads, "Dear love, I just got here. Preparing for your arrival tomorrow. Can't wait to see you. Love, Me. P.S. Sure is hot down here."

gericagijane

Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize.

Bradley th...

Q: What nails do carpenters hate to hit?
A: Fingernails.

TheLaughFa...

Q: What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?
A: He wiped his bum.

That Wright

Q: What is the difference between a teacher and a train?
A: One says, "Spit out your gum," and the other says, "Choo choo choo!"

Capricorn37