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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Q: What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
A: I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.


A drunk walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck. The bartender says, "You can stay but don't try to start anything."


Q: How come oysters never donate to charity?
A: Because they are shellfish.


Q: What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
A: You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish.

Lauren P.

A man who is just married is flying to the Florida Keys for a business trip. His new bride is to accompany him the next day. When he gets there, he e-mails his wife to let her know he made it there safely. When he sends the e-mail, he mistypes the address. In Boston, a grieving widow, whose husband has recently passed away, receives the e-mail. She reads it, screams, and faints. Hearing her grandmother’s cry, the widow's 18 year old granddaughter runs into the living room to see the computer on, with a message that reads, "Dear love, I just got here. Preparing for your arrival tomorrow. Can't wait to see you. Love, Me. P.S. Sure is hot down here."


Q: What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A: A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.


Q: What nails do carpenters hate to hit?
A: Fingernails.


Q: Why did the school kids eat their homework?
A: Because their teacher told them it was a piece of cake.


"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled, "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted to. I was keeping the umbrella.


Q: What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?
A: He wiped his bum.

That Wright

Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize.

Bradley th...

Q: What is the difference between a teacher and a train?
A: One says, "Spit out your gum," and the other says, "Choo choo choo!"