Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? Yeah, he pasta way.
Q: What do you call a midget psychic who just escaped from prison? A: A small medium at large.
Q: What did the banana say to the doctor?
A: "I'm not peeling well."
A man is telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me $4000, but it's state of the art. It's perfect." "Really?" answers the neighbor. "What kind is it?" "12:30."
The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman, and a Bulldog are in a bar having a drink, when a great looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me." So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough." The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "That's not creative enough." Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."