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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Q: What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
A: I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

TheLaughFa...

Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.

Mark My Words

"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled, "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted to. I was keeping the umbrella.

Kaziah

Q: What type of sandals do frogs wear?
A: Open-toad!

polina

Helium walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here." Helium doesn't react.

Anonymous

Q: What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A: A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.

Anonymous

Q: What is the difference between a teacher and a train?
A: One says, "Spit out your gum," and the other says, "Choo choo choo!"

Capricorn37

Q: What happens once in a minute and twice in a moment but never in a decade?
A: The letter "m."

Iggy

Innkeeper: "The room is $15 a night. It's $5 if you make your own bed."
Guest: "I'll make my own bed."
Innkeeper: "Good. I'll get you some nails and wood."

Fabio

Q: How come oysters never donate to charity?
A: Because they are shellfish.

me

Q: Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
A: Because he was outstanding in his field.

ANGEL EYES

Q: What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
A: One has claws at the end of its paws and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.

oscar3kings