I went to the bank the other day and asked the banker to check my balance, so she pushed me!
Q: What did the blanket say when it fell of the bed?
A: "Oh sheet!"
Q: What do computers eat for a snack?
A drunk walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck. The bartender says, "You can stay but don't try to start anything."
If you ever get cold, just stand in the corner of a room for a while. They're normally around 90 degrees.