What do you call four Mexicans in quicksand? Quatro sink-o!
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Q: What do you call a midget psychic who just escaped from prison? A: A small medium at large.
A neutron walks into a bar and says, "I'd like a beer. How much will that be?" The bartender responds, "For you? No charge!"
Q: What did Obi-Wan say to Luke at the breakfast table?
A: "Use the fork, Luke."