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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

LOLLYPOP

THREE TREES AND A WOODPECKER
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.

The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"

The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into."

Now wipe that smile off your face.

Muddy1

Q: What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
A: Juan on Juan.

Anonymous

Why is it that your nose runs, but your feet smell?

Anonymous

Q: Why can't you trust an atom?
A: Because they make up everything.

Anonymous

Q: What is the tallest building in the entire world?
A: The library, because it has so many stories.

Razor

If you ever get cold, just stand in the corner of a room for a while. They're normally around 90 degrees.

Anonymous

Q: What did the blanket say when it fell of the bed?
A: "Oh sheet!"

gav1467

Q: What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
A: One has claws at the end of its paws and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.

oscar3kings

Q: Why did the school kids eat their homework?
A: Because their teacher told them it was a piece of cake.

capcon

Q: What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
A: You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish.

Lauren P.

Q: What do you call stoned Mexicans?
A: Baked beans.

Francis Mata