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joke bank - Word Play Jokes

Why is it that your nose runs, but your feet smell?

Anonymous

Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?
A: Envelope.

hatcher

If you ever get cold, just stand in the corner of a room for a while. They're normally around 90 degrees.

Anonymous

Q: What's the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?
A: Usain Bolt can finish a race.

Broom

Johnny was at school and the teacher said, "Someone use fascinate in a sentence." Sally answered, "The zoo was fascinating." The teacher said, "Sorry, Sally, I said to use fascinate in a sentence." Maria suggested, "I was fascinated at the zoo." Once again the teacher said, "No, Maria, I specifically said to use fascinate in a sentence." Johnny said, "My sister has ten buttons on her sweater." Again the teacher said, "Sorry, Johnny, I said use fascinate in a sentence." Johnny replied, "I know, but her boobs are so big she can only fasten eight."

Will Morga...

Q: What is the lightest thing in the world?
A: A penis because just a thought can lift it.

Anonymous

Q: What do computers eat for a snack?
A: Microchips!

Samanthas ...

Q: Did your hear about the man with a broken left arm and broken left leg?
A: Don't worry he's "ALRIGHT" now!

Brucey

Q: Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?
A: Because he was always spotted.

lovebite

If the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then lefties are the only ones in their right mind.

Mark My Words

A teacher asked, "Johnny, can you tell me the name of three great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's lives?" Little Johnny responded, "Drin-king, smo-king, and f*c-king."

hachouma

Q: What do an old person, a Mexican man, and a high school student close to graduation have in common?
A: They're all seniors.

LadyHaha