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joke bank - Sexist Jokes

If women aren't supposed to be in the kitchen, then why do they have milk and eggs inside them?!


A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes." Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."

Alliah And...

Doris is sitting in a bar and says to her friend that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. The bartender tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery." Doris asks, "How do I do it without surgery?" "Just rub toilet paper between them." Fascinated, Doris says, "How does that make them bigger?" "I don't know, but it sure worked for your ass!"


One day three women went for a job interview. The man interviewing them posed all three the same question. What would you do if you found an extra €50 in on your paycheck that you shouldn’t have received? The first one said, “I’d give it back as it wasn’t mine and I wasn’t entitled to it.” When he asked the second one she replied, “I’d give it to Charity.” When he asked the third one, she was more honest and she said, “I’d keep it for myself and go out for a drink.” Which one of the three women got the job? The one with the biggest tits!

Marcus Mac...

Q: Why are women's feet so small?
A: So they can stand closer to the sink while washing dishes.


The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.


Three women were trapped on an island. They needed to get across the water to the mainland. They came across a genie who said, "I will grant you ladies three wishes." The first woman said, "Turn me into a fish" and she swam across the water to the other island. The second woman said, "Give me a boat" and she rowed to the other side. The third woman said, "Turn me into a man" and she walked across the bridge.


They say that married men live the longest. It's ironic, since they're the ones most willing to die.


Q: Why did cavemen drag their women by the hair?
A: Because they found out by dragging them by their legs that their hole would fill up with mud.

Mark My Words

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? I don't know, it has never happened.


What is a man's ultimate shame? When he runs into a wall with a hard-on and grabs his nose first!


Q: What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?
A: One has hope in her soul and one has soap in her hole.