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joke bank - Sexist Jokes

Women are like roads. The more curves they have, the more dangerous they are.


How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.


Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
A: Because like all men, they won't stop to ask directions.

captn crunk

An old lady was getting on the bus to go to the pet cemetery with her cat's remains. As she got on the bus, she whispered to the bus driver, "I have a dead p*ssy." The driver pointed to the lady sitting behind him and said, "Sit with my wife, you two have a lot in common."


How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven.


Why do men die before their wives? They want to.


Q: Why do Jewish mothers make great parole officers?
A: They never let anyone finish a sentence!


Life is like a penis: women make it hard for no reason.

Lorris Simon

Officer: "Madam, swimming is prohibited in this lake."
Lady: "Why didn't you tell me when I was removing my clothes?"
Officer: "Well, that's not prohibited."


A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."


Why does it take one million sperm to fertilize one egg? They don't stop and ask for directions.


Q: What has eight arms and an IQ of 60?
A: Four guys drinking Bud Light and watching a football game!