Chocolate Sundaes is live this Sunday! Open mic signups will resume on 12/6.

joke bank - Sexist Jokes

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

aiman2005

Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
A: Because like all men, they won't stop to ask directions.

captn crunk

A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."

vicky7867

Life is like a penis: women make it hard for no reason.

Lorris Simon

An old lady was getting on the bus to go to the pet cemetery with her cat's remains. As she got on the bus, she whispered to the bus driver, "I have a dead p*ssy." The driver pointed to the lady sitting behind him and said, "Sit with my wife, you two have a lot in common."

MadameMeza

How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

LaughFactory

Q: Why do Jewish mothers make great parole officers?
A: They never let anyone finish a sentence!

Bookworm

Why do men die before their wives? They want to.

aiman2005

Officer: "Madam, swimming is prohibited in this lake."
Lady: "Why didn't you tell me when I was removing my clothes?"
Officer: "Well, that's not prohibited."

MUHAMAD UMAIR

If women aren't supposed to be in the kitchen, then why do they have milk and eggs inside them?!

Anonymous

A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes." Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."

Alliah And...

Q: What has eight arms and an IQ of 60?
A: Four guys drinking Bud Light and watching a football game!

P.J