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joke bank - Sexist Jokes

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with, "A man once told me..."

aiman2005

There's a new drug for lesbians on the market to cure depression, it's called Trycoxagain.

RobbieJay

A man is drinking in a bar when he notices a beautiful young lady. "Hello there and what is your name?" "Hello," giggles the woman, "I'm Stacey. What's yours?" "I'm Jim." "Jim, do you want to come over to my house tonight?" “Sure!" replies Jim. "Let's go!" At Stacey’s house, Jim notices a picture of a man on Stacey's desk and asks, "Is this your brother?" "No, it isn't, Jim!" Stacey giggles. "Is it your husband?" Stacey giggles even more, "No, silly!" "Then, it must be your boyfriend!" Stacey giggles even more while nibbling on Jim's ear. She says, "No, silly!" "Then, who is it?" Stacey replies, "That's me before my operation!"

Anonymous

Q: When can women make you a millionaire? A: When you're a billionaire.

TheLaughFa...

How are women and tornadoes alike? They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.

JayDee917

An investigative journalist went to Afghanistan to study the culture and was shocked to discover that women were made to walk ten paces behind the men. She asked her guide why and he said, "Because they are considered of lesser status." Outraged the journalist went home. A year later she returned covering violence in the region and was surprised to see the women walking ten paces ahead. She turned to her guide and this time asked, "What has changed?" The guide answered, "Land mines."

jonnyroadster

Everyone says the world would be better off if it was run by women. Sure, maybe there wouldn't be violence and territorial conquests fueled by male testosterone. But instead, we'd have a bunch of jealous countries that aren't talking to each other.

nathandavid

What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild? Money.

wok1028

A man driving a car hits a woman. Whose fault is it? The man's. Why was he driving in the kitchen?

shurtugalll

What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets? Women.

willy53

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a wedding cake.

LaughFactory

Three guys and a lady were sitting at the bar talking about their professions. The first guy says, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, young, urban, professional." The second guy says, "I'm a DINK. You know, double income, no kids." The third guy says, "I'm a RUB. You know, rich urban biker." They turn to the woman and ask, "So what are you?" The woman replies, "I'm a WIFE. You know - Wash, Iron, F***, Etc."

beautiful23