- Popular Jokes
- Latest Jokes
- Joke of the Day
- Animal Jokes
- Blonde Jokes
- Boycott These Jokes
- Clean Jokes
- Family Jokes
- Food Jokes
- Holiday Jokes
- How to be Insulting
- Insult Jokes
- Miscellaneous Jokes
- National Jokes
- Office Jokes
- Political Jokes
- Pop Culture Jokes
- Racist Jokes
- Relationship Jokes
- Religious Jokes
- School Jokes
- Science Jokes
- Sex Jokes
- Sexist Jokes
- Sports Jokes
- Technology Jokes
- Word Play Jokes
- Yo Momma Jokes
joke bank - Relationship Jokes
A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts" She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer. When he finished it, he said, "Quick, bring me another beer. It's gonna start." This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer. When it was gone, he said, "Quick, another beer before it starts." "That's it!" She blows her top, "You bastard! You waltz in here, flop your fat ass down, don't even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like your slave. Don't you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?" The husband sighed. "Oh shit, it started!”
A wife asked her husband, "Honey, will you still love me when I am old and overweight?" The man replied, "Yes, I do."
If you want to know who is really man’s best friend, put your dog and your wife in the trunk of your car, come back an hour later, open the trunk, and see which one is happy to see you.
I’m about three years into my relationship now and I've started to have erection difficulties. My girlfriend and I have different ideas as to what the problem is: she bought me some Viagra and I bought her a treadmill.
You know you're getting old when your wife says, "Honey, lets run upstairs and make love," and you answer, "I can't do both."
A man put out a classified ad that read, "Wife wanted." The next day he received a hundred responses all saying the same thing: "You can have mine."
An old man goes into the Social Security Office and fills out an application. Too old to have a birth certificate, he is asked to prove he is old enough. He opens his shirt and shows them the gray hair on his chest and they accept that as proof. He goes home to his wife, shows her the check, and explains to her what has happened. She replies, "Well get back down there, pull down your pants, and see if you can get disability!"
Q: What the difference between your first and second honeymoon?
A: Niagara and Viagra.
Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That's really nice, that after all these years that you have been married, you keep calling your wife those pet names." Morris hung his head and whispered, "To tell you the truth, I forgot her name three years ago!"
Q: Why didn't the man report his stolen credit card?
A: The thief was spending less then his wife.
Boy: "Hey, I like you and I was wondering if you would be my girlfriend."
Girl: "I have a boyfriend."
Boy: "I have math test tomorrow."
Girl: "What does that have to do with anything?"
Boy: "I thought we were listing things we could cheat on."
A mother comes home from work to find that her kids are hiding behind the couch. She asks what's wrong, and the kids reply that aunt Sally was in the house naked. So she goes to her bedroom to investigate, and she finds her husband lying on the bed naked and sweaty. She asks, "What's going on?" He replies, "I'm having a heart attack." She says "I'm going to call 911, while I'm really looking for my sister." She discovers the aunt in the bathroom closet in the nude, and gives her a slap, "How dare you! My husband is having a heart attack and you're running around scaring the kids!"