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joke bank - Relationship Jokes

If you want to know who is really man’s best friend, put your dog and your wife in the trunk of your car, come back an hour later, open the trunk, and see which one is happy to see you.


Don't break anybody's heart; they only have 1. Break their bones; they have 206.

popular kween

A man put out a classified ad that read, "Wife wanted." The next day he received a hundred responses all saying the same thing: "You can have mine."

Ellen Nichol

An old man goes into the Social Security Office and fills out an application. Too old to have a birth certificate, he is asked to prove he is old enough. He opens his shirt and shows them the gray hair on his chest and they accept that as proof. He goes home to his wife, shows her the check, and explains to her what has happened. She replies, "Well get back down there, pull down your pants, and see if you can get disability!"


Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That's really nice, that after all these years that you have been married, you keep calling your wife those pet names." Morris hung his head and whispered, "To tell you the truth, I forgot her name three years ago!"


Q: Why didn't the man report his stolen credit card?
A: The thief was spending less then his wife.


You know you're getting old when your wife says, "Honey, lets run upstairs and make love," and you answer, "I can't do both."


Q: What the difference between your first and second honeymoon?
A: Niagara and Viagra.

Mark My Words

I’m about three years into my relationship now and I've started to have erection difficulties. My girlfriend and I have different ideas as to what the problem is: she bought me some Viagra and I bought her a treadmill.


Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.


Boy: "Hey, I like you and I was wondering if you would be my girlfriend."
Girl: "I have a boyfriend."
Boy: "I have math test tomorrow."
Girl: "What does that have to do with anything?"
Boy: "I thought we were listing things we could cheat on."


If a man opens the car door for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.