How much coke has Charlie Sheen snorted? Enough to kill two and a half men.
Chuck Norris pulled the pin in a grenade, threw it, killed 50 men, and then the grenade exploded.
Yo mamma is so old she knew Burger King when he was a prince.
Q: What do you call an ocean voyage where everyone stays in the closet?
A: A Tom Cruise.
I left my Adderall in my Ford Fiesta, now it’s a Ford Focus.