Q: What's the difference between Tom Cruise and a tuxedo?
A: One comes out of the closet on special occasions and the other is a tuxedo.
Dear NASA, Your mom thought I was big enough. - Pluto
Elton John used to work at the sperm bank, but he was fired for drinking on the job.
Yo mamma is so old she knew Burger King when he was a prince.
Q: Why did Miley and Liam break up?
A: It just wasn't twerking.