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joke bank - Political Jokes

A young gay man calls home and tells his Jewish mother that he has decided to go back into the closet because he has met a wonderful girl and they are going to be married. He tells his mother that he is sure she will be happier since he knows that his gay lifestyle has been very disturbing to her. She responds that she is indeed delighted and asks tentatively, "I suppose it would be too much to hope that she would be Jewish?" He tells her that not only is the girl Jewish, but she’s from a wealthy Beverly Hills family. She admits she is overwhelmed by the news, and asks, "What is her name?" He answers, "Monica Lewinsky." There is a pause, then his mother asks, "What happened to that nice black boy you were dating last year?"

Tricia

What happens when you give a politician Viagra? He gets taller.

Anonymous

Hillary Clinton has finally announced she will be running for President. Yes, finally. She says this is a great step forward for all women... who happen to be married to a former president.

Olaf

It was so cold today, a Democrat had his hands in his own pockets!

Anonymous

What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician? Chelsea Clinton.

Anonymous

The recession is getting so bad, the bank sent me a new type of credit card. It was pre-declined.

shedpal

Q: What did Gandhi say to the British, after they asked him to move?
A: Nah, mastay.

Anonymous

Congress does some strange things. They put a high tax on liquor and then raises the other taxes that drive people to drink.

TheLaughFa...

Q: What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
A: You can't milk a cow for over 10 years.

M@mm1

A politician will find an excuse to get out of anything except office.

Paul Beisner

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie has said that he may run for President, but analysts predict it is much more likely that he will walk.

Obama

One day, the pope was in from Italy and after a rough week of meeting archbishops and other religious figures, he decided to go see the Galveston shore in Texas. When he arrives in his pope mobile, he sees a man struggling for his life aginst a shark. Upon a closer look he notices that it is John Kerry. Horrified, he starts to call for help when a speedboat pulls up along side Mr. Kerry, with George W. Bush and Dick Cheney on board. Dick Cheney leans over and pulls him out. Then George W. Busy and Dick Cheney begin to beat the shark to death with baseball bats. The two men notice the Pope and land the boat on the beach. The pope says to the men, "I know that there has been a lot of attention and a lot of strife in this election, but I can see that you two men respect each other and would help each other in their house of need. You have my blessings." The pope packs off and drives out of site. Bush asks, "Who was that?" "That was the pope Mr. President, he is all knowing and in touch with God. Leader of the Catholic Church," says Cheney. Bush says, "Well that's all neat and fine, but he doesn't know anything about shark fishing. Hows the bait holding up?"

johnrodgers30