When asked if they would have sex with Bill Clinton, 86% of women in D.C. said, "Not again."
Q: How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two: one to change it and another one to change it back again.
A Scotsman who was driving home one night, ran into a car driven by an Englishman. The Scotsman got out of the car to apologize and offered the Englishman a drink from a bottle of whisky. The Englishman was glad to have a drink. "Go on," said the Scot, "have another drink." The Englishman drank gratefully. "But don't you want one, too?" he asked the Scotsman. "Perhaps," replied the Scotsman, "after the police have gone."
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
A: Your Honor.
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
We used to have Reagan, Jonny Cash, and Bob Hope. Now we have Obama, no cash, and no hope.