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joke bank - Office Jokes

What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried up to their necks in sand? Not enough sand.

Anonymous

A scientist and a philosopher are being chased by a hungry lion. The scientist makes some quick calculations and says, β€œIt's no good trying to outrun it. It's catching up!” The philosopher keeps a little ahead and replies, β€œI'm not trying to outrun the lion, I'm trying to outrun you!”

kwamethedon

An infinite crowd of mathematicians enter a bar. The first one orders a pint, the second one orders half a pint, the third one orders a quarter pint. The bartender says, "I understand," and pours two pints.

mmowry

An old lady rushed into the police department and claimed she was raped. When asked what the guy looked like, she said she didn't know, only that he was a contractor. When asked how she knew that, she yelled, "All he could say was, 'I'm coming! I'm coming!' and he never finished the job."

myaghoubi

Being an astronaut is funny. It's the only job where you get fired before you start work.

marty