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joke bank - Office Jokes

An infinite crowd of mathematicians enter a bar. The first one orders a pint, the second one orders half a pint, the third one orders a quarter pint. The bartender says, "I understand," and pours two pints.


An old lady rushed into the police department and claimed she was raped. When asked what the guy looked like, she said she didn't know, only that he was a contractor. When asked how she knew that, she yelled, "All he could say was, 'I'm coming! I'm coming!' and he never finished the job."


Being an astronaut is funny. It's the only job where you get fired before you start work.


Q: What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a 1,000 letters?
A: Post office.


Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy.


Why was the lawyer skimming the Bible right before he died? He was looking for loopholes!


Q: What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
A: The genealogist checks the family tree and the gynecologist checks the family bush.

Mark My Words

While visiting a friend in the hospital, a young man notices several pretty nurses, each one of them wearing a pin designed to look like an apple. “What does the pin signify?” he asks one of them. “Oh! Nothing,” she says with a chuckle, “we just use it to keep the doctors away.”


If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.

Edsger Dij...

What can a goose do that a duck can't, but a lawyer should? Shove its bill up its ass!


What do you call a bench full of white people? The NBA!


What is the difference between a waitress who works in a strip club and an actual stripper? About two weeks.