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joke bank - Office Jokes

I love pressing F5. It is so refreshing.

Zach Booth

An old lady rushed into the police department and claimed she was raped. When asked what the guy looked like, she said she didn't know, only that he was a contractor. When asked how she knew that, she yelled, "All he could say was, 'I'm coming! I'm coming!' and he never finished the job."

myaghoubi

Q: What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
A: The genealogist checks the family tree and the gynecologist checks the family bush.

Mark My Words

Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy.

Anonymous

An infinite crowd of mathematicians enter a bar. The first one orders a pint, the second one orders half a pint, the third one orders a quarter pint. The bartender says, "I understand," and pours two pints.

mmowry

Why was the lawyer skimming the Bible right before he died? He was looking for loopholes!

Anonymous

Why is christmas just like the day at the office?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

Anonymous

While visiting a friend in the hospital, a young man notices several pretty nurses, each one of them wearing a pin designed to look like an apple. “What does the pin signify?” he asks one of them. “Oh! Nothing,” she says with a chuckle, “we just use it to keep the doctors away.”

VinceA

Employe: "I bet you $6,000 i can piss in your cup 30 meters away."
Boss: "Ok I would like to see you try."
Employe: As he moves on pissing all over the floor loosing $6,000 not caring.
Boss: "Ha you just lost $6,000."
Secratary: "God damnit!"
Boss: "Whats wrong?"
Secratary: "He bet me $200,000 he could piss allover your floor and you would be happy about it!"

Idk bro

What do you call a bench full of white people? The NBA!

kwikski19

If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.

Edsger Dij...

What is the difference between a waitress who works in a strip club and an actual stripper? About two weeks.

fimthelim