I live in Bakersfield, California. At least it's not Barstow, a city that owes its existence to the fact that people traveling to Las Vegas needed a place to stop and take a sh*t. There was a toilet and they built a city around it.
Q: Why do Scottish people wear kilts? A: Sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.
What does a Mexican order at Starbucks? Cap-a-Chino!
Two men from Dublin are walking to the annual Dublin Fair, when it starts to rain. "Patrick, put your umbrella up, it's raining." "I can't, Mick, it's got holes in it." "Holes in it? Then why did you bring it with you?" "I didn't think it would rain."
At first I was surprised the Holocaust happened. And then I watched German Porn.