Q: How did I get to Iraq?
What's the difference between an Irish wake and an Irish wedding? One less drunk.
Q: How do you kill 100 flies at once? A: Smack an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.
Why are there no ice cubes in Poland? Because they lost the recipe.
I live in Bakersfield, California. At least it's not Barstow, a city that owes its existence to the fact that people traveling to Las Vegas needed a place to stop and take a sh*t. There was a toilet and they built a city around it.