- Popular Jokes
- Latest Jokes
- Joke of the Day
- Animal Jokes
- Blonde Jokes
- Boycott These Jokes
- Clean Jokes
- Family Jokes
- Food Jokes
- Holiday Jokes
- How to be Insulting
- Insult Jokes
- Miscellaneous Jokes
- National Jokes
- Office Jokes
- Political Jokes
- Pop Culture Jokes
- Racist Jokes
- Relationship Jokes
- Religious Jokes
- School Jokes
- Science Jokes
- Sex Jokes
- Sexist Jokes
- Sports Jokes
- Technology Jokes
- Word Play Jokes
- Yo Momma Jokes
joke bank - National Jokes
A Polish man married a Canadian girl after he had been in Canada a year or so, and although his English was far from perfect, the couple got on very well. One day, though, he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked if he could arrange a divorce for him, "Very quick!" The lawyer explained that the speed of getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked these questions:
LAWYER: "Have you any grounds?"
POLE: "An acre and half, and a nice 3 bedroom house."
LAWYER: "No, I mean what is the foundation of the case?"
POLE: "It is made of concrete, bricks & mortar."
LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"
POLE: "No, we have a carport and don’t need a grudge."
LAWYER: "I mean, what are your relations like?"
POLE: "All my relations live in Poland."
LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
POLE: "Yes, we have hi-fidelity stereo set & DVD player with 6.1 sound."
LAWYER: "No, I mean does your wife beat you up?"
POLE: "No, I’m always up before her."
LAWYER: "Why do you want this divorce?"
POLE: "She going to kill me!"
LAWYER: "What makes you think that?"
POLE: "I got proof."
LAWYER: "What kind of proof?"
POLE: "She going to poison me. She buy bottle at drug store and I read label. It say Polish Remover."
Q: How do you kill 100 flies at once? A: Smack an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.
Q: What's the difference between America and yogurt?
A: If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years, it develops a culture.
Does anyone remember the Swatch, a watch made in Switzerland? Thank god Croatia didn't come up with the idea first. Just imagine if someone were to ask you what time is it? "Oh pardon me while I look at my crotch."
An American tourist walks out of a Mexican train station when he notices he isn't wearing his watch. A Mexican man is resting under a sombrero under a nearby tree. The American approaches the Mexican and asks, "Excuse me, do you know what time is?" The Mexican looks at the donkey, grabs its balls, and replies, "4:30." The American asks, "How do you know that?" The Mexican replies, "Well you get a handful of the donkeys balls and lift them up so you can see that clock across the street."
Q: If a plane crashed on the Canada/USA border, where would the survivors be buried?
A: You don't bury survivors.
An American, a Vietnamese, a Mexican, a Brazilian, a Canadian, a German, a Turk, and a Russian walk into a fancy restaurant. When they got to the front desk, they were kicked out because they did not have a Thai.
In class, Jose is asked to use the word "Cherokee" in a sentence. He pauses and says, "I lost my house key and now I have to Cherokee with my sister."