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joke bank - National Jokes

Q: What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
A: Carlos.

Steven Casby

Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Australia?
A: God couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.


A Jewish businessman in America decided to send his son to Israel to absorb some of the culture of the homeland. When the son returned, the father asked him to tell him about his trip.
The son said, "Pop, I had a great time in Israel. By the way, I converted to Christianity." "Oy vey," said the father. "What have I done?"
He decided to go ask his friend Jacob what to do. Jacob said, "Funny you should ask. I too sent my son to Israel, and he also came back a Christian. Perhaps we should go see the rabbi and ask him what we should do."
So they went to see the Rabbi. The Rabbi said, "Funny you should ask.I too sent my son to Israel. He also came back a Christian. What is happening to our young people? Perhaps we should go talk to God and ask him what to do."
The three of them prayed and explained what had happened to their sons and asked God what to do. Suddenly a voice came loud and clear from Heaven. The Voice said, "funny you should ask, I too sent my son to Isreal..."


A Polish man, a German guy, and an American dude, climb a mountain because they each want to make a wish from the genie on the top. When they make it to the top, they find the lamp and all rub it. The genie appears and says, "For your wish to be granted, you must yell it out while you are jumping off of this mountain." So the German jumps off and yells, "I wish to be a fighter plane!" "So be it," the genie says, and the German becomes a plane. The American jumps off and yells, "I wish to be an eagle!" "So be it," the genie says, and the American becomes an eagle and flies away. The Polish man runs to the edge, accidentally trips on a rock, and yells, "I wish to b- oh S**t!"


Two Irishmen friends are drinking together at one of their homes. One friend takes out a bottle of Irish whiskey and asks the other, "Will you pour this bottle out on my grave if I die first?" His friend replies, "Do you mind if I pass it through my kidneys first?"

Mark My Words

Q: Why do the French eat snails?
A: They don't like fast food.


Three guys travel to Saudi Arabia and get lost. They walk into a tent that they think was the one they rented, but actually belongs to a prince with 3 hot wives. The prince comes home and thinks his wives are cheating on him. As a punishment, he tells them that their penises will have to be cut off in some way relating to their occupation.
He asks the first guy what his job was.
"I'm an employee at the shooting range," he replies.
"Then we'll shoot your dick off!" the prince says.
"I'm a fireman," the second guy says.
"Then we'll burn your cock off!" says the prince.
The third guy smiles and says, "I'm a lollipop salesman."


Q: Why are there no knock knock jokes about America?
A: Because freedom rings!


Q: Why do Chinese people have Chinese babies?
A: Because two Wongs don't make a white.


Q: What do you call stoned Mexicans?
A: Baked beans.

Francis Mata

Q: How do you kill 100 flies at once? A: Smack an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.


Q: What do you call a Filipino contortionist?
A: A Manila folder.

Mark My Words