DON'T MISS SOME OF TODAY'S BEST COMEDIANS TODAY FROM THE LGBTQ ON THE FABULOUS SHOW, RAINBOW POP THIS MAY 30TH IN LONG BEACH!!! DANE COOK LIVE THIS SATURDAY MAY 26TH FOR ALL-STAR COMEDY! DON'T MISS THIS! CHRIS D'ELIA LIVE IN HOLLYWOOD! SEE HIM TAKE OVER THE STAGE THIS FRIDAY FOR LUCK OF THE IRISH! PRETTY, FUNNY WOMEN IS BACK AND BIGGER THAN EVER! SEE SOME OF THE FUNNIEST WOMEN IN THE COMEDY SCENE TODAY THIS TUESDAY. CATCH ANDY DICK ON THE LONG BEACH STAGE THIS FRIDAY FOR THE NIGHT SHIFT!

joke bank - Miscellaneous Jokes

Q. What do clouds do when they become rich?

A. They make it rain!

Anonymous

At the doctor's office, Tom was getting a check up. "I have good news and bad news," says the doctor. "The good news is you have 24 hours left to live." Tom replies, "That's the good news?!" Then the doctor says, "The bad news is I should have told you that yesterday."

Anonymous

Contest in a girl's college: write a short story which contains religion, sex and mystery.
Winner's story: "Oh god, I am pregnant, I wonder who did it."

marcus walker

A child goes to his father and asks, "Father, how do parents think of names for their children?" The father answers, "Well, son, the night before the mother gives birth, the father goes into the woods and camps for the night. When he wakes the following morning, the first thing he sees is what he names his child, which is why your sister is named Soaring Eagle. Why do you ask, Bear Poop?"

SaltyDog01

Q. What is the color of the wind?
A. Blew.

hello_the_...

A teacher asks her class what their favorite letter is. A student puts up his hand and says 'G'. The teacher walks over to him and says, "Why is that, Angus?"

rudikelly

Q: Why can't orphans play baseball?
A: Because they don't know where home is.

the chicken

Two guys are standing in line to enter heaven. One turned around and asked the other how he died. "I froze to death. How about you?" "I had a heart attack." "How did that happen?" "Well, I suspected my wife was cheating on me. So after work I went straight home. I ran upstairs to find my wife sleeping by herself. Then I ran back downstairs and looked in all the hiding spots. When I was running back up the stairs, I had a heart attack." "That's ironic." "Why?" "If you would've looked in the fridge, we'd both be alive."

fast freddy

Q: Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair?
A: Because she wanted to rock and roll.

Anonymous

Officer: "Madam, swimming is prohibited in this lake."
Lady: "Why didn't you tell me when I was removing my clothes?"
Officer: "Well, that's not prohibited."

MUHAMAD UMAIR

Q: Why are ghosts bad liars?
A: You can see right through them.

Capricorn37

You know you're getting old when your wife says, "Honey, lets run upstairs and make love," and you answer, "I can't do both."

Rimmothy