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joke bank - Miscellaneous Jokes

Helen Keller walks into a bar, then a table, then a chair.

Kirbeh Master

Q. What do clouds do when they become rich?

A. They make it rain!

Anonymous

A teacher asks her class what their favorite letter is. A student puts up his hand and says 'G'. The teacher walks over to him and says, "Why is that, Angus?"

rudikelly

Q. What is the color of the wind?
A. Blew.

hello_the_...

A child goes to his father and asks, "Father, how do parents think of names for their children?" The father answers, "Well, son, the night before the mother gives birth, the father goes into the woods and camps for the night. When he wakes the following morning, the first thing he sees is what he names his child, which is why your sister is named Soaring Eagle. Why do you ask, Bear Poop?"

SaltyDog01

Q: Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair?
A: Because she wanted to rock and roll.

Anonymous

Two guys are standing in line to enter heaven. One turned around and asked the other how he died. "I froze to death. How about you?" "I had a heart attack." "How did that happen?" "Well, I suspected my wife was cheating on me. So after work I went straight home. I ran upstairs to find my wife sleeping by herself. Then I ran back downstairs and looked in all the hiding spots. When I was running back up the stairs, I had a heart attack." "That's ironic." "Why?" "If you would've looked in the fridge, we'd both be alive."

fast freddy

Q: Why are ghosts bad liars?
A: You can see right through them.

Capricorn37

Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower?
A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.

christianleft

Officer: "Madam, swimming is prohibited in this lake."
Lady: "Why didn't you tell me when I was removing my clothes?"
Officer: "Well, that's not prohibited."

MUHAMAD UMAIR

Innkeeper: "The room is $15 a night. It's $5 if you make your own bed."
Guest: "I'll make my own bed."
Innkeeper: "Good. I'll get you some nails and wood."

Fabio

You know you're getting old when your wife says, "Honey, lets run upstairs and make love," and you answer, "I can't do both."

Rimmothy