SELECT cal.countryaccesslist_countrycode, cal.countryaccesslist_allowadsupport FROM MaxMindGeoIP AS mmgp INNER JOIN CountryAccessList AS cal ON cal.countryaccesslist_countrycode = maxmind_countrycode WHERE 918952941 BETWEEN maxmind_beginip AND maxmind_endip
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joke bank - Joke of the Day

Yo mama is so nasty when she put a cucumber in her panties she pulled out a pickle!

Today's Joke


Q: What is a question with a different answer every time you're asked? A: "What time is it?"

Featured on June 28, 2016


One day a man was walking in the woods when he got lost. For two days he roamed around trying to find a way out. He had not eaten anything during this period and was famished. Over on a rock ledge he spotted a bald eagle. He killed it, and started to eat it. Surprisingly, a couple of park rangers happen to find him at that moment, and arrested him for killing an endangered species. In court, he pleads innocent to the charges against him, claiming that if he didn't eat the bald eagle he would have died from starvation. The judge ruled in his favor. In the judge's closing statement he asked the man, "I would like you to tell me something before I let you go. I have never eaten a bald eagle, nor ever plan on it, but what did it taste like?" The man answered, "Well, it tasted like a cross between a whooping crane and a spotted owl!"

Featured on June 27, 2016

Judith McGrane

Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A: Chickens didn't exist yet.

Featured on June 26, 2016

Riki Relet

Q: Why are blonde jokes so short?
A: So brunettes can remember them.

Featured on June 25, 2016


"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Nobel who?"
"No bell that's why I knocked."

Featured on June 24, 2016

jean hegarty

Q: Why is the barn so noisy?
A: Because the cows have horns.

Featured on June 23, 2016


Wife: "In my dream, I saw you in a jewelry store and you bought me a diamond ring."
Husband: "I had the same dream and I saw your dad paying the bill."

Featured on June 22, 2016