A thief stuck a pistol in a man's ribs and said, "Give me your money." The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said, "You cannot do this, I'm a congressman!" The thief replied, "In that case, give me MY money!"
A man is fishing and he catches a crocodile. The crocodile tells him, "Please let me go! I'll grant you any wish you desire." The man says, "Okay, I wish my penis could touch the ground." The crocodile then bites his legs off.
Featured on April 25, 2015
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Featured on April 24, 2015
Why can’t Polish farmers raise chickens? They plant the eggs too deep.
Featured on April 23, 2015
A married couple are out one night at a dance club. There’s a guy on the dance floor giving it large: break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works. The wife turns to her husband and says, "See that guy? Twenty years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down." The husband says, "Looks like he’s still celebrating!"
Featured on April 22, 2015
I went to the bank the other day and asked the banker to check my balance, so she pushed me!
Featured on April 21, 2015
Q: What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
A: "We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"
Featured on April 20, 2015
Yo momma so stupid it took her four hours to watch "60 Minutes."
Featured on April 19, 2015