Your teeth are so big when you sneeze you bite your chest.
A man asks a woman, "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" The woman responds, "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
You're so fat you're the reason why the Earth is tilted.
Q: How do you leave a jackass in suspense?
A: Don't know. I'll tell you tomorrow
You're lucky mirrors don't talk, or laugh for that matter.