If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
I'll never forget the first time we met, although I'll keep trying.
Your teeth are so big when you sneeze you bite your chest.
A man asks a woman, "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" The woman responds, "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?" The student replied, "It is obviously past."