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joke bank - Insult Jokes

Girlfriend: "Am I pretty or ugly?"
Boyfriend: "You're both."
Girlfriend: "What do you mean?"
Boyfriend: "You're pretty ugly."

squatter dude

I saw a young teenage kid on the subway today. He had a Mohawk hairstyle dyed yellow, green, and red. He caught me staring at him and in a nasty voice asked, "What the f*ck are you looking at?" I replied, "Sorry, but when I was about your age I had sex with a parrot. I thought maybe you were my son."


Girl: "Girls are better than boys."
Boy: "Then why did God make boys first?"
Girl: "Duh, you have to have a rough draft before the final copy."


Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."


A mother said to her son, "Look at that kid over there; he's not misbehaving." The son replied, "Maybe he has good parents then!"


A husband says to his wife, "You know, our son got his brain from me." The wife replies, "I think he did. I still got mine with me!"


Man: I want to give myself to you.
Woman: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.


You know you're getting fat when you say you're fat in front of your friends and nobody corrects you.


What's the difference between three penises and a joke? Your mom can't take a joke.


You have so many gaps in your teeth, it looks like your tongue is in jail.


One woman I was dating called and said, "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.


Your Halloween costume came in the mail today. I opened it. It was a rooster mask and a bag of lollipops. Going as a c*ck sucker again!?