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joke bank - Insult Jokes

A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?" He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor!"

giggili

Girl: "Girls are better than boys."
Boy: "Then why did God make boys first?"
Girl: "Duh, you have to have a rough draft before the final copy."

FuzzyPanda123

A mother said to her son, "Look at that kid over there; he's not misbehaving." The son replied, "Maybe he has good parents then!"

Anonymous

My friend told me he had the body of a Greek god. I had to explain to him that Buddha is not Greek.

Cuba

I saw a young teenage kid on the subway today. He had a Mohawk hairstyle dyed yellow, green, and red. He caught me staring at him and in a nasty voice asked, "What the f*ck are you looking at?" I replied, "Sorry, but when I was about your age I had sex with a parrot. I thought maybe you were my son."

luis

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

Alex and J...

Man: I want to give myself to you.
Woman: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

LaughFactory

A husband says to his wife, "You know, our son got his brain from me." The wife replies, "I think he did. I still got mine with me!"

shahrzad

A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."

vicky7867

You know you're getting fat when you say you're fat in front of your friends and nobody corrects you.

assyrian

When somebody calls you gay, say, "I'm straighter than the pole your mom dances on."

Anonymous

Your Halloween costume came in the mail today. I opened it. It was a rooster mask and a bag of lollipops. Going as a c*ck sucker again!?

jewelzee86