A kid from Mississippi is on Harvard campus for the first time, he stops a student and asks, "Excuse me, can you tell me where the library is at?" The Harvard student replies "At Harvard, you don’t end a sentence with a preposition." The kid said, "Sorry about that. Can you tell me where the library is at, asshole?"
Interviewer: "What's your greatest weakness?"
Interviewer: "I don't think honesty is a weakness."
Candidate: "I don't give a f*ck what you think."
How to be Insulting at Christmas: Try to find what you were given last year and give it back to the person who gave it to you.
How to be Insulting on Public Transportation: Pretend to be foreign when the conductor asks for your fare and try to give him the wrong denomination of money.
If you ever fart in public, just yell, "Turbo power!" and walk faster.