Why don't witches have babies? Because their husbands have Hallo-weenies!!!
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!