Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
Q: Why do pilgrims pants fall down?
A: Because their belts are on their hats.
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
A: Spare ribs!
A father and son are out shopping for Christmas presents for their family. The son asks, "What present are my sister and I going to get?" The dad answers, "I got you guys an iPad and iPod." "Wow, thanks," the son replies, "What will you give mom?" The dad says, "Your mom is getting an iRon."
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.