Yo momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A: To get to the body shop.
Q: If April showers bring may flowers, what do mayflowers bring?