Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A: To get to the body shop.
Yo momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
Q: If April showers bring may flowers, what do mayflowers bring?
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."