Yo momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A: To get to the body shop.
Q: If April showers bring may flowers, what do mayflowers bring?