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joke bank - Holiday Jokes

Q: Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs?
A: Because he doesn't want anyone to know he's screwing the chickens.

Anonymous

Q: What does Miley Cyrus eat for Christmas dinner?
A: Roast twerky!

Anonymous

Why is christmas just like the day at the office?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

Anonymous

Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.

Anonymous

What did the skeleton tell the doctor in the club? I need some body to dance!

Freddyhz1

Q: Why did the snowman drop his pants?
A: Because he heard the snow blower was coming.

Mark My Words

What is a mummy's favorite type of music? Wrap!

Anonymous

Why are women’s breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmastime? Because they were originally made for children but fathers want to play with them.

Anonymous

A vampire walks into a bar, sits down, and says to the bartender, "A cup of boiling water, please." The bartender, confused and scared, walks up with the water and says, "I thought vampires drank blood..." The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "Yes, it's tea time."

darren payne

Q: How did the ghost go on vacation?
A: By scareplane!

Anonymous

Why don't witches have babies? Because their husbands have Hallo-weenies!!!

JustineFon...

Why did the vampire subscribe to the Wall St Journal? He heard it had great circulation...

Anonymous