Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars?
A: You can see right through them.
Q: Why do pilgrims pants fall down?
A: Because their belts are on their hats.
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Yo momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.