Chocolate Sundaes is live this Sunday! Catch Tim Allen monthly on our Hollywood stage

joke bank - Holiday Jokes

Q: If April showers bring may flowers, what do mayflowers bring?
A: Pilgrims!

Anonymous

What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? Hope it's Halloween.

Anonymous

Q: Why are ghosts bad liars?
A: You can see right through them.

Capricorn37

Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!

Anonymous

Q: Can February march?
A: No, but April may.

brock

Q: Why do pilgrims pants fall down?
A: Because their belts are on their hats.

Anonymous

Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
A: Spare ribs!

cupcake22

A father and son are out shopping for Christmas presents for their family. The son asks, "What present are my sister and I going to get?" The dad answers, "I got you guys an iPad and iPod." "Wow, thanks," the son replies, "What will you give mom?" The dad says, "Your mom is getting an iRon."

zac bailie

Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A: To get to the body shop.

Lucyfaith16

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

Anonymous

Q: What do elves learn in school?
A: The Elfabet.

Anonymous

If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!

Anonymous