Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus?
A: Santa stops after three hos.
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? Hope it's Halloween.
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!