Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game?
A: Their bats flew away.
A woman had never seen Santa Claus before, but on Christmas Eve night she heard someone come down her chimney so she went downstairs to check it out. ''Oh, it's Santa Claus," she said, "Please stay and chat this is the first time I have met you." Santa replied, "Ho ho ho, I need to go. I need to go!" The lady took off her robe, but Santa said, "Ho ho ho, I need to go. I need to go!" The lady slipped off her nightgown and Santa told her, "Ho ho ho, I need to go. I need to go!" Then the lady removed her panties, and Santa said, ''Hey hey hey, I need to stay. I need to stay, 'cause I can't go up the chimney with my dick this way!"
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Yo momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.