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joke bank - Family Jokes

A little girl is serving her father tea while her mother is out shopping. The mother comes home and the father says, "Watch this!" The little girl goes and serves the mother tea. The mother responds, "Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?"

WhiteHawk

Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!!

My step dad

Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job?
A: Because it was soda pressing.

Brock

Alfie was listening to his sister practice her singing. "Sis," he said, "I wish you'd sing Christmas carols." "Thats nice of you, Alfie," she replied, "but why?" Alfie replied, "Because then I'd only have to hear your voice once a year!"

ibryildiz

Q: What type of sandals do frogs wear?
A: Open-toad!

polina

Q: Can February march?
A: No, but April may.

brock

Paddy and Murphy are havin' a pint in the pub, when some scuba divers come on the TV. Paddy says, "Murphy, why is it them deep sea divers always sit on the side of the boat with them air tanks on their backs, and fall backwards out of the boat?" Murphy thinks for a minute then says, "That's easy. It's 'cos if they fell forwards, they'd still be in the friggin boat!"

c sud

Assistant: "Sir, can I have a day off next week to visit my mother-in-law?"
Boss: "Certainly not!"

Assistant: "Thank you so much sir! I knew you would be understanding."

TheLaughFa...

Q: What do cats eat for breakfast?
A: Mice Krispies.

slim

Q: Why do Jewish mothers make great parole officers?
A: They never let anyone finish a sentence!

Bookworm

A little girl and her older brother were visiting their grandfather's farm. The older brother decided to play a trick on his younger sister. He told her that he discovered a man-eating chicken. The girl was frightened, and ran inside in fear. Then the older brother heard his little sister scream. He ran inside immediately. She was screaming at their grandfather, who was chowing down on a plate of fried chicken. "What is it?" he asked. The sister turned to him in fear and said," It- it's- IT'S A MAN EATING CHICKEN!!!"

ChickenFin...

Q: If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
A: Big hands.

jj zenir