Michael Jackson has done something no one has ever done before. I'm not talking about his record sales or tickets sold. I'm talking about being born a black man, and dying a white woman. Incredible.
What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Having arms and legs.
What is the difference between acne and a Catholic priest? Acne usually comes on a boy's face after he turns 12.
There was this homeless drunk dude laying in an alley talking out loud saying, "I wish had another drink." He then passed out. As he was saying that, a gay dude was walking by and heard him. When the gay guy came back, he f*cked the homeless guy and put three dollars in his pocket. The homeless dude woke up later and found the money, ran to the liquor store, and said, "Give me the cheapest half of pint you have," and went back to his spot, drunk it and passed out again. The gay dude came back, f*cked the homeless dude again, and left five dollars. He ran back to the liquor store and said, "Give me the cheapest pint you have," and went back to his spot. The gay dude came back again. Once he saw the homeless man passed out, he f*cked him again and left eight dollars The homeless dude woke up and realized he had some more money. He ran back to the liquor store, and before he could say a word, the owner said, "I know, you want the cheapest pint you can get," and the homeless dude said, "No, give me the most expensive half you got. That cheap liquor is tearing my ass up."
What is the difference between Jesus, and a picture of Jesus? You can hang the picture with just one nail.