Chocolate Sundaes is live this Sunday! Catch Tim Allen monthly in Hollywood on Thursday, October 6th! Come see Adam Ray, Andrew Santino, Chris Redd, Jordan Rock, and more in Hollywood this week. Check the Clubs & Tickets page for more.

joke bank - Boycott These Jokes

Three ladies were on a flight, when suddenly the captain announced, "Please prepare for a crash landing." The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this, the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, "Well, when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich, and will rescue me first." The second lady, not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see my great t*ts and will take me first." The third lady who was African, not wanting to be outdone, took off her pants and panties. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, they always search for the black box first."

paigelady

Q: Why is a woman with no breasts a pirate's delight?
A: Because she has a sunken chest.

Bill52

My girlfriend called me a pedophile; that's a big word for a nine year old.

Anonymous

Q: Why does Micheal Jackson like twenty six year olds?
A: Because there's twenty of them.

eric

Q: What do elephants use for tampons?
A: Sheep.

mgrector

Jesus walks into a inn, hands the innkeeper three nails, and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"

william th...

Have you heard? Michael Jackson’s last wish was that his body be turned into Legos. So little kids can play with him. It turns out this wish hasn’t been difficult to implement, as his body was already 99% plastic.

dolpn26

Why is it that skinny men like fat women? Because they need warmth in winter and shade in summer.

ADRIANA89

Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.

BlackKeebler

Q: What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A: A rip off.

BlackManBlack

Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?
A: The pizza dosen't scream when it's put into an oven.

Anonymous

How do you know if a guy has a high sperm count? She has to chew before she swallows.

aah12000