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joke bank - Animal Jokes

A magician worked on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician did the same tricks each week. However, there was a problem, the captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood, he started shouting out the secrets in the middle of the show, "Look, it's not the same hat." "Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table." "Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades?" The magician was furious but couldn't do anything, it was, after all, the captain's parrot. One day, the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself with the parrot, adrift on a piece of wood, in the middle of the ocean. They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day, then another, and another. Finally, after a week, the parrot said, "Okay, I give up. Where the heck is the boat?"


Q: How do fish get high?
A: Seaweed.


Q: Why do bunnies have soft sex?
A: They have cotton balls.


Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A: Chickens didn't exist yet.

Riki Relet

A panda walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a sandwich. He eats, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for the food!" The panda yells back, "Hey man, I'm a panda. Look it up!" The bartender opens his dictionary to panda, "A tree climbing mammal of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats, shoots, and leaves."


Q: Why is the barn so noisy?
A: Because the cows have horns.


Why did the turkey cross the road? Because he wasn't a chicken.


Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?"


Q: What do you call a rabbit that has fleas?
A: Bugs bunny.

sonic luag...

Redhead: "You ever smelled moth balls?"
Blonde: "Yes, I think they smell good."
Redhead: "Wow, I can't believe you got your nose between those tiny legs."


Q: What do cats eat for breakfast?
A: Mice Krispies.


Q: What has more lives than a cat?
A: A frog because it croaks every night.