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joke bank - Animal Jokes

A boy with a monkey on his shoulder was walking down the road when he passed a policeman who said, "Now, now young lad, I think you had better take that monkey the zoo." The next day, the boy was walking down the road with the monkey on his shoulder again, when he passed the same policeman. The policeman said, "Hey there, I thought I told you to take that money to the zoo!" The boy answered, "I did! Today I'm taking him to the cinema."

Anonymous

Q: Why did the fish blush?
A: Because it saw the ocean's bottom.

cj

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his first communion.” “I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.” They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. “Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn't have started with the circumcision.”

TheLaughFa...

Yo mama so fat the bears have to hide their food from her when she goes camping.

Anonymous

Q: Why do the French eat snails?
A: They don't like fast food.

Anonymous

The energizer bunny was arrested on a charge of battery.

Silenxio M...

Q: What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A: A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.

Anonymous

An elephant and a camel are talking. The elephant asks, "Why do you have boobs on your back?" The camel replies, "Ha! That's a funny question coming from an animal with a penis hanging from his face."

dakota harjo

Q: What type of sandals do frogs wear?
A: Open-toad!

polina

Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!!

My step dad

Q: What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
A: One has claws at the end of its paws and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.

oscar3kings

Q: How come oysters never donate to charity?
A: Because they are shellfish.

me