Bill Dawes is an actor/comic/writer.
As an actor, he has appeared in several award-winning independent films, including Adam, Evenhand and Fiona. He's had starring roles in two MGM Studio children's films—Just for Kicks and Recipe for Disaster—and an acting role in the DVD cult hit I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell. On TV, Bill has been on several hit shows, including Criminal Minds, Law and Order, Rizzoli and Isles, Sex and the City, OZ, and Criminal Intent. As a stage actor, Bill's first role was on Broadway with Sigourney Weaver and Christopher Durang in the play Sex and Longing. His most recent stage turn was on Broadway in the hit Tony-nominated production of Lombardi, where he played a lead role as Green Bay Packer Legend Paul Hornung, the "Golden Boy." Soon he will be appearing on Broadway again to play New York Yankees legend Mickey Mantle.
But don't be fooled by his boyish looks, his comedy pushes boundaries. His high-energy delivery mixes taboo subjects with comedy we can all relate to, making his show a non-stop barrage of laughter you wont soon forget. Bill has performed all over the U.S. and the world, including tours of Canada, Hong Kong, the Philippines, and South Africa. As part of the USO, he has performed for coalition forces in Iraq and Kuwait in front of crowds of over 8,000 international troops at bases in Baghdad. In his most recent international comedy experience, Bill was the only American invite for the 2012 New Zealand International Comedy Festival.
"Gross but adorable" — Asbury Park Press
This July marks the 10-year anniversary of the first time I did standup comedy, and I have learned the MOST incredible thing ever regarding the craft of standup: I don’t know shit about it.
Standup comedy IS, simply put, a Pandora’s Box of psychological mindfuckery. It is the hallucinogenic horror film hallway that stretches away faster than you can run down it. It is that sexy bitch you eagerly text your most sacrosanct feelings to who responds with a clipped and cryptic “k.”
The night of July 18th, 2003, I got apoplectically drunk and a college friend of mine convinced me that I needed to put my name inside a hat at a lower east side bar in Manhattan and subsequently do 3 minutes of talking to strangers.
I wasn&rs... Read more
I recently celebrated my one year anniversary.
Of being single.
The celebration mostly consisted of lying on my couch Facebook-flirting while Sportscenter played on an endless loop in the background. WINNING!
For the better part of 2012 and 2013, I’ve been quixotically trying to get back together with my ex-girlfriend. In my stumbling, I’ve run the gamut from email rants of rhapsodic Cyrano de Bergerac-esque prose poetry to feigned indifference to gifting poignant iTunes songs while snot bubbles quivered in my wet nostrils.
There was one hitch in the plan: my ex-girlfriend hates my guts.
She doesn’t really “hate me” hate me -- not in the same way that I hate magicians, Hitler, and personal trainers -- but she desperately wants to move on with her life and ... Read more
*** THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION. ALTHOUGH MUCH OF IT IS TRUE, IT REPRESENTS SEVERAL THINGS PIECED TOGETHER FOR THE SAKE OF COMEDY. SO CALM THE FUCK DOWN ***
My love life is a disaster. If the Titanic and the Hindenburg were going out, they would probably see a rom-com about my dating life on their first date and subsequently give it an amazing review on “Rotten Tomatoes.”
Now, obviously, the common denominator in all of these situations is me. Clearly, I’m doing something wrong. Although I’ve led a fairly examined life, and have read the intro and 1st chapter of many a self help book (after page 20, aren’t we all like “I geeeeeet it, Deepak!”?), I’m clearly not doing it right.
In January, my actual girlfriend (actual, i.e., we lived together, talked about marriag ... Read more